It’s no surprise that being romantic with your partner can be a bit more challenging after the arrival of a newborn. Finding time is hard, you’re exhausted to the point of choosing sleep over pretty much anything else, and you may not be quite ready to leave the wee one with a sitter while you head out for a date night. But wait! Don’t give up on romancing your significant other during this sleep-deprived time! It’s important to stay connected as a couple after baby comes. Here are five ways to romance each other a bit, with or without baby present.
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Have dinner out. It’s ok to bring your tiny new family member with you to a bar or restaurant. Really. It is. Provided it’s not full of cigarette smoke or ridiculously loud, it’s A-OK to hunker down for a meal and a bevvie with your loved staring at you from across the table and a (hopefully sleeping) baby next to you. Often, the din of the public space provides a nice white noise that can lull a baby to stay asleep so you can eat your food as fast as possible before s/he wakes up. Booths are particularly attractive options, if you can snag one, because they provide a more discreet scene if you need to (gasp!) feed your baby by lifting up your shirt a bit.
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Have dinner in. Put the baby in carrier, wrap, swing, vibrating seat, or some other place where the cherub can be happy or sleep safely while you sit and enjoy a meal together alone in the peace of your own home. Do it up with that frozen pizza. Pour some vino, light a candle…heck, use real cloth napkins, even. Make it feel special. If it feels like romance, tastes like romance (or wine), and looks like romance, it IS romance.
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Take a walk. Again, put baby in a wrap, carrier, or stroller, and head out for some fresh air and hand-holding. Try to talk about anything BUT the baby. Sometimes it’s nice to remember that you are people with real lives outside this newborn-reality-bubble, and that you knew each other well and long before this bundle of joy came along. Strive for a walk in a beautiful place. Maybe it’s a nearby park, or a lake, or maybe it’s your own street. Just be together, conversing. Or not conversing. Sometimes it’s the quiet togetherness that brings us closer.
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Take a bath. If you’re one of the many lucky people who own a bath tub big enough for two people, you can both squeeze in there and enjoy a warm, sudsy, aromatic soak. Again, light some candles, turn off the lights, and maybe even add some quiet music. The key is to get everything set up and ready beforehand, so that as soon as baby is asleep or happy in her bouncy chair, you can get in the water, because you KNOW she will poop or want to eat as soon as you start to decompress. The bath offers physical closeness with your significant other, and let’s just say that skin-to-skin has benefits beyond mother-baby bonding.
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Massage the stress away. Breastfeeding moms, especially at the start of breastfeeding, tend to hold a lot of tension in their shoulders and necks. Partners: rub and knead away that tension so she can feel your love physically, even if it’s too soon after birth to have sex. Feet and ankles and hands are often still swollen days or even weeks after birth, so those are other areas that can really benefit from a good massage. Partners carry tension too, so moms, be ready to return the favor!
What are some of your favorite ways to show your beloved they’re still your sweetheart?
