Welcoming a newborn into your family is an experience filled with joy, anticipation, and sometimes uncertainty. For parents whose infants require special care in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) or Special Care Nursery (SCN), the journey can be particularly challenging. At Better Beginnings, we understand that this time can be overwhelming, but it’s essential to know you are not alone. Below, we provide practical tips and emotional support strategies to help you navigate your NICU or SCN experience, whether you’re expecting to be admitted after the baby is born or you are already there.
Understanding the Setting
Before diving into tips, it’s crucial to understand the environment you’re entering. The NICU and SCN are designed to provide specialized care for newborns who may need extra support due to prematurity, low birth weight, or medical conditions. These units are equipped with advanced technology and staffed by a team of healthcare professionals dedicated to your baby’s well-being.
Take some time to familiarize yourself with the layout and protocols of the NICU or SCN:
- Unit Layout: Locate the various areas—rooms, waiting areas, kitchens, and nurse stations. Understanding where to find things can help reduce stress. Ask for a tour if you think it would be helpful. Here are a few things to especially ask about:
- Policies and procedures for various types of visitors (siblings, grandparents, etc.): often there are age restrictions or limitations on those with illnesses, and parking and getting to the NICU itself can also be tricky.
- Meals for yourself: Ask whether there is a kitchen you can use and any hours or restrictions; if there is any cafeteria in the hospital where you may be able to grab a fresh meal; and how it would work to have food delivered.
- Equipment: While it may seem intimidating, familiarize yourself with common equipment, such as incubators, monitors, and feeding tubes. Ask your nurses to explain how they work; this knowledge can empower you and alleviate fear.
- Daily Routines: Each unit has specific routines for assessments and visiting hours. Knowing these can help you plan your visits and visitors more effectively.
- Personnel: Know that while you will likely have a few doctors and nurses you see repeatedly (and will become some of your best cheerleaders!), there will always be changes in the schedule. There will also be a rotating door of other specialists (therapists, nutritionists, social workers, etc.) coming and going who will all take your time, and this can be overwhelming. It is always ok to request that someone come back at another time.
Emotional Well-Being
Navigating the NICU can be an emotional rollercoaster. Here are ways to care for your emotional health:
- Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s normal to feel a range of emotions—fear, sadness, confusion, or even guilt. Allow yourself to feel these emotions – without judgment! Speaking to a counselor or joining a support group can also provide comfort and validation. One awesome resource to help you is dear NICU mama, with a website as well as Instagram and Facebook presence.
- Seek Support: Lean on your partner, family, and friends. They can provide not just emotional support but also practical help, such as meal preparation or childcare for other siblings. Additionally, consider connecting with other parents in the NICU or SCN; shared experiences can foster a sense of community. Also consider talking with friends or family members who have been through their own NICU stays. If you used Better Beginnings for your birth doula support or you’re using us for your postpartum support once baby/babies are home, you can always reach out to your doulas for tips, tricks, and support even while your baby is still in the hospital.
- Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care, even in small ways. Make time for activities that recharge you, whether it’s reading, listening to a certain type of music, being outside, or simply enjoying a cup of coffee. If you are the parent who gave birth – or for that matter, even if you aren’t! – also make sure you are caring for your body by getting the right nutrition and rest. You will be stretched by this experience in many ways, so make it as easy on yourself as possible.
- Looking for more support than this blog post can give? Check out these NICU Resources for Parents from the Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance.
Communication with NICU Healthcare Providers
Effective communication with your baby’s healthcare team is key to navigating the NICU or SCN stay:
- Ask Questions: Don’t hesitate to ask questions about your baby’s condition, treatment plan, and progress. The medical staff is there to provide information and support, so ask anything you’re curious or concerned about.
- Keep a Journal: Documenting your baby’s progress, as well as your thoughts and feelings, can be therapeutic. It also serves as a valuable reference for discussions with healthcare providers.
- Attend Care Meetings: Most NICUs hold regular care meetings with parents to discuss the baby’s progress. Attend these meetings as often as possible to stay informed on your baby’s care plan.
Bonding with Your Baby
Even though your baby may be in a specialized unit, there are so many ways to bond with them!
- Skin-to-Skin Contact: If possible, practice kangaroo care (skin-to-skin contact) as much as you can. This helps regulate your baby’s temperature and heart rate, promote bonding, and enhance breastfeeding success – not to mention the endorphins that flow when you’re snuggling with your sweet little one! If you are not able to hold him or her yet, your care team will show you how to safely make contact and connections.
- Read and Sing: Even if your baby is in an incubator, they can hear your voice and feel the touch of your hand. Reading books and singing lullabies can provide comfort and promote bonding.
- Participate in Care: Ask if you can assist with your baby’s care tasks, such as diaper changes, bathing, or feeding. Participating actively can help strengthen your bond and give you a sense of control.
Coping with Challenges
Facing challenges during your NICU or SCN stay is normal. Here are strategies to help:
- Manage Expectations: Understand that progress may be slow, and there will be steps both forward and backward. Celebrate small victories, like increasing feeding amounts or weight gain, and try to remain patient during setbacks. Once again: go easy on yourself. It may feel like forever in the moment, but this time will be over before you know it.
- Create a Routine: Establishing a routine can provide structure and predictability. This can include regular visiting times, self-care activities, time at home or even just outside of the hospital, and communication with your support network.
- Use Technology: If you can’t be at the NICU all the time, use technology to stay connected. Many units offer live streaming or regular updates about your baby’s status. This can help ease some anxiety about being away, whether you need to leave for work, to be home for your other children, or to take a break from the fluorescent lighting.
Navigating Logistics
There are practical aspects to consider during your NICU or SCN stay:
- Other Children: Not being able to meet their new brother or sister, compounded with mom and dad being gone a lot more, can make this time extra emotional for your older children. It’s important to maintain open communication about the situation, explaining the NICU in age-appropriate terms. Help your kids to understand why they can’t be with the baby all the time. Offer ways for them to be involved, like making cards or drawing pictures for the baby, and video call each other as often as possible. Try to keep routines consistent for the older children to reduce stress, and involve trusted family or friends for support.
- Accommodation and Transportation: If your baby is in the NICU or SCN for an extended period and you don’t live close by, look into nearby accommodations. Some hospitals have partnerships with local hotels for discounted rates for families. Consider carpooling with other parents to ease transportation challenges. Some NICUs will let you stay in a vacant room or in your baby’s room, but know that sleep will likely be even more of a challenge in this environment, so make sure you’re taking time to get good rest when you can.
- Financial Resources: NICU stays can be financially taxing. Explore available resources, including insurance coverage, state assistance programs, and financial aid from the hospital. Social workers in the NICU can help guide you through these options.
- Meal and Snack Planning: Hospital cafeteria food may not always be appealing, so plan for nutritious snacks and meals. If family and friends are looking for ways to help out, request they bring some of your favorites when they stop to meet your baby. Many hospitals also have family lounges with kitchens where you can prepare food. Stocking up on easy-to-eat snacks can help keep your energy levels up during long days – and nights – at the hospital.
Planning for NICU Discharge
As your baby’s condition improves and they near discharge, planning becomes essential:
- Understand Discharge Criteria: Speak with your healthcare team about what criteria must be met for your baby’s discharge, such as a car seat test, eating requirements, weight gain requirements, and more. Understanding this can help you prepare emotionally and logistically.
- Home Preparation: Prepare your home for the baby’s arrival. This might include setting up a safe sleeping space, organizing feeding supplies, and ensuring you have any necessary medical equipment. As for the basics, if you haven’t already checked out our freebie that helps you plan, in detail, for your postpartum time, check that out here!
- Follow-Up Care: Discuss follow-up care with your healthcare providers before discharge. Ensure you understand any appointments, medications, or therapies your baby may need once home. You may receive a large folder full of paper; don’t be alarmed! Take a few moments to make a list of the specific things YOU need to remember, from both those information sheets as well as what the providers shared, so it’s all in one place as you leave. If you’re looking for more practical help like feeding, light household tasks, emotional support, and more, our Better Beginnings doulas are here for you both day and night. Learn more about hiring us here.
You Can Do This!
Navigating the NICU or SCN journey can be overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. By prioritizing your emotional well-being, engaging with your baby, and maintaining open communication with healthcare providers, you can find your way through this challenging time.
At Better Beginnings, we’re here to support you through every step of this journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out for additional resources, counseling, or community connections. You are your baby’s advocate, and together, you can face the challenges ahead. Take it one day at a time, and remember, you are doing an incredible job!
